“Let’s Have a Show" from Sally Ziegler

Among her many gifts my dear friend Mary had a sense of occasion that was amazing. A routine staff birthday party at Grace Church was made special by her adding a nosegay of flowers or by choosing the honoree's favorite flavor. But it was in her work with children that Mary’s sense of the festive made itself most evident in the joy she gave to young children. Every child In the Sunday School received a birthday card from Miss Mary and every one included a coupon for a cone at the best ice cream store in town.

Mary and I worked together for nine years at Grace & St. Stepehn's in Colrado where I serve as a deacon and was always grateful for Mary's intent to study to be ordained as a deacon, too.

On Palm Sunday there were donkeys for the children to pat and ride if they were brave (and small) enough, bringing Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem to life in the concrete thoughts of the little ones. ( We won’t dwell on the year when one of the jennies died in childbirth the night before). There was the wonderful but stressful year when Mary wanted to make the hymn about a green blade springing come to life. She and her own children blew out dozens of eggs so she could spend hours planting half-shells with grass seed that needed to be watered and tended for weeks so each child in the Sunday School received one of these little jewels on Easter morning. My grandchildren who are half Jewish treasured these gifts from Mary for weeks after Easter was past.

One of her best “shows” was the butterfly release on the day of Pentecost which also marked the graduation of Sunday School children into middle school and Youth Group. Only Mary could have found a source for dormant -- or at least passive -- butterflies that arrived in tiny cellophane envelopes to be sent soaring into the blue Colorado sky signifying the new life ahead for the young people. In spite of the year that most of them froze in transit Mary's sense of occasion and her joy in the children’s growth remain important memories for many here in Colorado Springs.

My personal “best of show” was in December, 2005, in Children’s Chapel. Mary and I shared the responsibility for this weekly worship service for children ages 3-6. Every Sunday morning was an adventure that gave new meaning to to the phrase “herding cats”. But on the third Sunday in December Mary added her own unique gift to me and to the children. In celebration of my 70th birthday she had each of the children come up to me in front of the altar and give me a beautiful Peace rose and a hug. This gift of friendship and of love will always live in my heart and symbolize to me Mary’s amazing gift of joy in the moment.

January 29, 2007 7:43 PM

Photo of Mary

One small memory

Last November, when I was visiting in Colorado Springs, I spent Sunday morning at Grace Cathedral with Kit. One neat little thing that she did was to jot down some stuff on a piece of paper. I asked her -- what for? She said that when she would come in to work on Tuesday morning, she would look at her little paper and remember the little notes that she wanted to write to people.

I'm going to use that technique so that when I think of writing a little note to someone -- I actually will do it!

That's just one small thing that Kit did so well.

from Terry Fife

Terry Fife said...

During 30 years of friendship, Kit and I spent hundreds of hours watching movies together. We spent even more time discussing them--immediately after a screening, if we were lucky enough to be together. But usually we reviewed and rehashed films during our lengthy and frequent phone chats.

The day after her sudden death, a flood of films rushed through my mind. What were the first movies I had seen with Kit? What were the last ones we discussed? What was the last film she saw with Phil, and with each of her kids? What about all those wonderful and unusual movies at the RMWFF she so adored and shared with so many others.

Despite the fact we both considered ourselves fairly sophisticated and discriminating film buffs, the recurring image in my mind earlier this week was of a really BAD movie we had seen together, and of Kit's unique ability to sense good from bad, and to simply, and sometimes outrageously, say so.

It was a hot, humid day in the summer of 1977. Kit and Laurie Sprague (a college friend of mine who had introduced me to Kit, whom she had known since high school) and I decided to cool off in one of Michigan City's air-conditioned movie theaters. The pickens, I recall, were slim, but we finally settled on "You Light Up My Life," a film known for its popular theme song made famous by Debbie Boone, but actually lip-synched by some utterly forgettable actress. We were prepared for mediocre, but figured there would be some redeeming features of the film to make it worth our time (which we had lots of in those days) and our money (which was in much shorter supply).

About twenty minutes into the film, Kit looked at Laurie and at me, and pronounced, "this film is so bad, we should demand our money back."

Laurie and I looked at each other, wondering if it was even possible to request a refund. Kit, on the other hand, was both confident and determined. Laurie and I made our way out of the darkened theater while Kit made a bee-line for the box office. There she politely but firmly informed the person in the booth that "the movie was simply so bad we would not be able to continue watching it." Whereupon our tickets were fully refunded and we headed straight for an ice cream store.

The next year, "You Light Up My Life" actually won an Oscar for its theme song, but it remained the bottom-line barometer of bad films for us over the years.

Kit was a radiant and brilliant light in my life. A firecracker who relished burning from both ends, she lit up many lives and illuminated many truths along the way.

Terry Fife
Chicago, Illinois

Kit and Lynne

Lynne and Kit, November 2006, (I took this picture with my cell phone!) when Kit dropped me off at the Denver airport after I spent a weekend with Kit and family -- laughing, talking politics with Miles, listening to Maddie play the harp, more laughing, showing each other fun websites on the computer, sitting around laughing at the antics of the two dogs, Annie and Finn, having an incredible day at the Rocky Mountain Women's Film Festival, visiting with Kit's mom Nancy and stepdad Ferd, more laughing, eating dinner at the restaurant where Emily works, talking about plans and problems and redecorating and children and politics and religion. And more laughing. I remember sitting in her car that weekend as we talked about how lucky we had both been as far as husbands and children. We sat in the car and laughed and laughed when I told her a joke I used to say to my late father-in-law, who was a geneticist. I used to say -- look at us, we're just two regular-looking people, but we made such incredibly beautiful children! It's a genetic miracle! And he would agree that yes, it had to be a genetic miracle! My heart hurts so much to think that she is gone. But, she is not really gone. I know that she is with God. And she's probably saying: "Lynne, you idiot! It's OK!" And I know that she is OK. It's just that I will miss her so much. And I have just discovered that the "click" pad on my laptop will not work when it is wet with tears...clearly time to stop typing and distract myself with a book.

Kit's obit

This ran in the independent paper in Colorado Springs. It's not easily readable, so I will type out the text: (NOTE: I've discovered that if you click on the graphic, you can print it out on legal-sized paper -- letter-sized is a bit too small. Now, I have this hanging by my desk.)

Mary Catherine Webster
September 23, 1954-January 13, 2007

Mary Catherine Webster, beloved wife and mother, champion of children, tireless comforter, and articulate opponent of injustice died unexpectedly of a heart attack, on January 13, 2007, in the company of her family. Mary is survived by her husband Phil, the love of her life and her partner in wisdom and wit, and their three children, Emily, a nursing student at U.C.C.S. and Miles and Maddie, IB students at Palmer High School. She is also survived by her mother and stepfather, Nancy and Ferdinand Schindler, of Colorado Springs and her brother, Patrick O'Neill and his family, Tam and Hannah, of Denver. Her father predeceased her.

Mary was born on September 23, 1954, in Winamack, Indiana, to John James and Nancy (nee O'Connor) O'Neill. Her Catholic elementary education led her to Indiana University where she was one of the first to earn a B.A. in Religious Studies. Mary and Phil moved to Corpus Christi, Texas, after marrying in 1978. Mary taught at Franklin and Incarnate Word high schools, with the instinct to assign a task to her laziest student to get it done efficiently. Daughter Emily was born in Texas, and twins Miles and Maddie were born shortly after the family moved to Colorado Springs where Phil joined FedEx.

Mary loved children, dogs, cooking and especially words.

Mary was gifted with exceptional social intelligence, a talent for friendship and an uncanny ability to remember every word she heard. She was a letter writer, an Irish wit and story teller, and a movie buff devoted to the Women's Film Festival. For the last nine years Mary was the Director of Children's Education at Grace and St. Stephens Episcopal Church, a ministry grounded in her unwavering faith and devotion to family. Though still training for ordination as a deacon, Mary served without ceasing; gathering communities of faith around her with creative acts of celebration, the wisdom of her counsel, and unnumbered acts of kindness. She honored landmarks in others' lives with flowers, ice cream coupons, homemade raspberry jam, linen hankies, and always a handwritten note and a listening ear.

All who knew Mary will miss the grace of her company, the animation of her voice, her impeccable style and her halo of white hair. Mary has always lived in the fellowship of saints and is dearly loved though seen no longer. Her family invites you to honor her memory with an act of kindness in her name.

How you can post memories and stories, too

I am Lynne Foster Shifriss. I created this blog as a way for people to post memories or thoughts or funny stories or pictures about Mary Catherine Webster. Whether you called her "Mary" or "Mary Kay" or "Kit," I think it's pretty easy to agree that she was a person with whom many people wanted to be friends. I felt that way about her ever since we met in the fall of 1972 at Forest Quad, in our freshman year at Indiana University in Bloomington. I always felt so lucky to know her.

As a gift to her friends, her family -- to all of us -- we can share on this blog either by commenting on a post (just click where it says "comments" at the bottom of a post) or by clicking on the orange button at the top and signing in (user name = marycatherinewebster@gmail.com, password = tribute) to do a post of your own. If you do your own post, you can easily put in a photo that you have in your computer. You can always email me at lshifriss@yahoo.com if you need any help with this. If you don't know how to post and want to email a story to me, I will post it for you.

I know so many people are hurting now, and in the next few days, I intend to tell some stories and hopefully find some pictures to share....and I hope you do, too.

Thanks so much,
Lynne